The 70-year-old store owner was mindin' his own bidness at the Elizabeth Grocery in North Philadelphia when an unnamed thug walked in around 11:00 am. While the register was open, the thug proceeded to stick his hand in the cookie jar register. The geriatric gentleman didn't play those kinds of games and pulled his handgun and shot the junior jackal in the ankle. "Now get off my lawn you hoodlum, and clean up your bloody mess, dummy". The wounded and limping perp was taken to the hospital and will then checked into the grey bar motel.
June 25, 2013: Why do I need more than 7 rounds?
Washtenaw County Sheriff’s deputies responded to an alarm set off by a broken window at Ypsilanti Middle School in Ypsilanti, MI, yada, yada, yada, they came upon a naked man who was covered in blood from the waist down. Blood? Yes, he was covered in blood from castrating himself with his bare hands! It took SIX police officers to subdue him. He and his parts were transferred to a local hospital. At least this zombie was mutilating himself and not eating someone's face.
June 12, 2013:
Hungry Howie's in Charlotte, NC. got a call for delivery of $74 worth of pie. Robby wells, delivery guy, though the order was odd and tooled up. This isn't the first time an order that large came in for delivery, COD. The last time, the driver got robbed. When Wells arrived at the delivery address, a church, he saw four yoots sitting on a bench, then noticed another yoot hiding behind a pillar. Pillars of society these boys were not, the five young men surrounded Wells to collect their free pizza, and a tip to boot, until Wells displayed his peace keeper and said "Now that we're at this point, do you have the money for this food, or not?" The answer was "not" and Wells left, with the pizza, his money and his life. Police said drivers should not take the law into their own hands, 'cause the po po are always there to protect you.
June 14, 2013:
Richard Longo, pharmacist, heard about two Long Island fatal pharmacy robberies and figured to himself "I ain't goin' down like that, know what I mean?" and went out and bought himself a handgun, registered, and licensed of course. As fate would have it, his number came up for the next robbery and that's when Marc S. Gumpert entered Precision Pharmacy and demanded Ritalin and Dilaudid. Longo complied with the demands and Gumpert fled with the drugs. Apparently Longo subscribes to the theory that you just comply and get a good description so he ran outside to get information for the police report. Gumpert didn't like all that spying Longo was doing, so he pulled a knife and went on the offense. That's when Longo pulled his properly licensed and registered handgun and fired a shot, hitting the ground, which then hit the getaway car. Gumpert then fled in the slightly disabled vehicle and was later apprehended. If you're curious, you can see the Nassau County pistol permit application here.
June 14, 2013:
Michael Ray Clark, Jr, 22, of Lookout, WV, and his juvenile female accomplice walked into an unoccupied house looking for free stuff. What they found, is a bit of trouble. A neighbor, who was working in his garden saw the sneaky pair and went over to make a citizens arrest while his wife called the police. When the police arrived they <strike>mistook the neighbor for an armed robber and shot him</strike> took the pair into custody. Sheriff Steve Kessler said
mind yo own bidness, let the police do they job "This incident is a good example of neighbors watching out for one another...he could have just called 911 to report this crime and hoped that we would get there in time, the action that he took insured that these two suspects were quickly apprehended and charged. Citizens taking action like this to protect themselves and their neighbors from crime makes our job much easier." Yep, that brought a tear to my eyes, too. If only we had more peace officers like that.
June 14, 2013:
Marlon Spiller, 29, Rodney McCall, 54, and Kenneth Boyd, 53, busted up into a Harris County, TX, jewelry store after hours to pick up some five finger discount bling. They jumped in their getaway car and... Got away, what did you think? Deputy John Garcia noticed the hoopty traveling down the highway and executed a traffic stop 'cause the doods in the car fit the description of the doods that did the theivin'. Deputy Garcia got into a scuffle with the doods and fearing for his life, he pulled his Taser. Yeah, that didn't work out too well. An unnamed Concealed Handgun Permit holder, who was driving by, saw the mayhem and intervened. During the melee he
pulled his gun and executed all four of 'em helped the deputy until backup arrived.
June 12, 2013:
A Columbia, SC, man heard a bump in the dark outside of his home so he tooled up and went to investigate (this is not allowed in DC, so don't try it). The bump he heard was Diana Perry, 53, who was trying to steal the man's air conditioner parts. Perry did something else she shouldn't have done, charged at the homeowner, who sent a bullet charging at her. being shot apparently changed her mind about approaching an armed homeowner. After pulling an about-face, she hightailed it out of Dodge and was arrested a short distance from the house. She and an accomplice are also suspected in a commercial burglary.
June 17, 2013:
While New Jersey is attempting to pass laws further restricting the right of the people to keep and bear arms, thugs are taking advantage of the hoplophobia and attempting armed robberies. Such was the case in Newark when an unnamed thug walked into a jewelry store and attempted to make off with some shiny new loot. His plans didn't pan out so well when the owner, obviously confused and thinking he was in Texas, pulled out a handgun and taught the dastardly dummy it's not nice to steal. The perp was transported to University Hospital and then transferred to cold storage. No word yet on if the Essex County Prosecutor will charge the store owner.
UPDATE: The dead dood has been identified as 28-year-old Mustafa Sheffield. Apparently he strutted up into the store, held the owners family at gunpoint and ordered the owner to fill his backpack with cash and gold. The owner ordered him to go to Hell and filled him with lead instead. H/T Grouchy
UPDATE 2: He'd been out of prison for three months when he acted a fool. If prison doesn't stop you from committing violent crimes, DRT does.
June 20, 2013:
At about 9 p.m. in Fairfax county, VA, four thugs approached a 17-year-old that they knew and demanded that he turn over his cell phone while a getaway driver stood next to their hoopty mobile. The boy complied with the demands and thinking they found a new, easy way of getting free cell phones, the group of five hoodlums approached another 17-year-old, that they knew, and demanded that he, too, turn over his free cell phone. Instead, this young man pulled out a gun and fired at the goup, who fled. Yeah, not so easy getting freebies when you get shot at, huh? An 18-year-old was injured and was taken to the Fairfax Hospital where he's expected to survive his injuries, but not the embarrassment of being punked. The 17-year-old was taken to jail and charged with malicious wounding and using a firearm during a felony. I guess Mantua, VA is just a little to close to D.C.
June 20, 2013:
Augusta, GA - two dummies get into a fist fight in front of a home in a mobile home park. The girlfriend of one of the men stepped out of the home and fired a shot at the other man. The other man, fearing for his life, pulled his own gun and returned fire while moving off the X and getting out of Dodge. His bullet struck the other MMA participant in the leg. No arrests have been made, and probably won't be.
June 22, 2013:
Wish shoe store didn't open until noon, but that didn't stop a line of people forming at the doors at 5:30 a.m. What's all the hubbub? Nike LeBron X EXT shoes were going on sale for $180 a pair. SHM... The group was warned that some miscreant was attempting to pickpocket the would-be basketball stars, but that didn't sway them from standing in line for six hours. During the wait, the (or another) miscreant approached the line
and tried to rob a group of people. That's when one of the Heat's fans (the team, not the temperature), pulled his concealed handgun and put a stop to the foolishness (not the waiting in line for six hours to buy shoes, the robbery), by shooting the would-be robber. He then got back in line to wait some more. The police showed up to make a report and take statements. Statements included "I salute the homie that did that.”, “Sounds like he (the dead robber) brought it on himself.” and "He took his life into his own hands. And lost it~!" (Grouchy) Wish sold out of their supply of special shoes within two hours, the investigation is expected to last a little longer than that.
June 17, 2013:
Indiana State Trooper responds to robbery, arrives to save the day and get's shot, well, that's the headlines in all but one news report. 60-year-old James D. Jones strolled up into Black Oak Armaments Gun Shop and demanded that a gun be sold to him, at least he was trying to honest, at first. Two points here, it's rude to demand things and potentially harmful to your health to demand things from an armed person. The gun shop owner refused the sale and Jones pulled a gun in a robbery attempt. The gun shop owner pulled his own gun and a shots were exchanged. The would-be gun buyer/robber fled the store. When Trooper Jarrod Lents arrived on scene to offer backup, he was shot three times, he returned fire and Jones fell Dead Right There. Lents was whisked away by helichopper to the local hospital where he was treated and apparently released (get that man a new ballistic vest). The Guvner sed "I am relieved to learn that Trooper Jared Lents' injuries are not life-threatening. Our prayers go out to him, and I am reminded of the risks those who wear the uniform take every day, and of their courageous service to the people of Indiana." No props to the store owner that thwarted the robbery and attempted murder of himself.
June 19, 2013:
19-year-old Richard Lee Wright III has a habit of trying to take free stuff and Wednesday was no different. Armed with a stolen .380 Smith and Wesson, he sneaked up to a house on Kildebran road in Salisbury, NC, to steal his most fav-or-ite truck, a 1993 Ford Ranger. The owner of said truck, James Lambert, was inside his house when heard the hoopty start up. He ran outside to find the teenage terror behind the wheel, so he pulled his concealed handgun and ordered the would-be larcenist to "Get the hell out of my truck you thieving piece of garbage, crack head, jackwagon", or something similar, I'm sure. Wright got right and laid down on the ground. 5-0 showed up and
confused the auto owner as the auto thief and shot him took Wright into custody. The stolen pistol that he had in his possession belonged to Lambert, it was stolen a day before. Stoopid criminals, yeah, they return to the scene. Wright was charged with being wrong in the theft of the firearm, breaking and entering, larceny of a motor vehicle and felon in possession of a firearm. He was previously convicted in 2010 of felony possession of stolen things and in 2012 larceny of firearms, felony breaking and entering, larceny after breaking and entering and possession of a firearm by a felon. But, you know, if we had just one more law, for the kids... His juvenile record is sealed, so we won't know what lead up to his adult criminal activity. Mmmm... Salisbury... Time for lunch.
June 23, 2013:
Oak Brook Mall, Oak Brook, IL, was the scene of a daring jewelry store heist. Three thugs walked into the C.D. Peacock jewelry store. Two of the thugs waited by the door, "as lookouts", or more precisely, so they could be the first to flee. One thug walked up to a jewelry display and pulled out his weapon, a sledge hammer, and busted the glass. An employee drew his weapon, a gun, and advised the thug that it's not "hammer time" and to drop the weapon. In one of those moments when the last of a series of poor choices leads to unfortunate results, the thug approached the employee with weapon in hand.The employee thought "you can't touch this", and shot the the young MC. The thug came for rare metal and that's what he left with, a lead ball in his tummy. The two accomplices ran away and fled in a stolen Jeep. With Oak Brook's close proximity to Chicago, self defense with a firearm must be unheard of, police were called for an active shooter and the mall was placed on lockdown. Apparently, not wanting the public at large to know that people, even paid security, uses firearms to actually defend themselves, the mall tried to prevent reporters from interviewing witnesses and banished media trucks to a remote area of the parking lot. The wounded thug was transported to a local hospital with unknown injuries. The defender will probably be mocked and ridiculed by Rham and Co.
June 26, 2013:
Durante Octavious Ashley, 19, apparently ashamed of his name, refused to get a job because he'd have to write it on a job application. The next best thing was for him to conceal his face with a black bandanna and cover his head with a green hooded jacket to rob the Junior Food Store on Dallas Hightway in Villa Rica, GA. Yo, bro, when it's 80 degrees at night, and you're wearing a hoodie, people will be suspicious, just sayin'. Ashley forced the clerk to open the register, the clerk forced Ashley to the ground with multiple gunshot wounds. If reached for comment, Ashley will surely say, "damn, bro, I was just takin' the free money, he didin have to go all Rambo".
June 26, 2013:
Douglas Ekbom, 28, ws down on his luck, just looking for a helping hand when he walked into Tosa Wine and Spirits in Wauwatosa, WI. He really didn't men no harm when he pulled out his weapon and demanded a donation. The owner was helping a paying customer when Ekbom walked in and demanded that he open the register. The owner responded with something like, "Yo, bro, you serious"? Serious Ekbom was when he produced a pistol... err... Pistol shaped lighter. The owner didn't know at the time it was just a lighter. Ekbom grabbed some cash and started to leave when the owner politely advised him that he forgot something. Ekbom turned around and pointed his weapon at the owner, the owner pointed his weapon at the robber and sent some lead his way. Exbom is no longer homeless, he now resides in the Milwaukee County Jail and looks like he may be signing a 40-year lease for a cozy room in the local prison.
June 27, 2013:
23-year-old Orlando Ortega figured the best time to break into a house is just after the homeowner moves in, that's when things are still packed up and easy to carry out. New Phoenix resident Mauricio Esquivel pulled into his driveway and noticed his windows were broken and said "My intuition says something's not right". Really? it's your intuition saying something's not right of the broken windows telling you that? Esquivel
returned to his car and got his handgun and then went back and peaked through the window. He saw Ortega looking at his stuff like a dog looks at a steak, so he cocked his handgun and said something like, "GET YOUR FREAKING BUTT ON THE GROUND NOW, PUNK!" After Esquivel placed a 911 call, the police arrived just in time to write a report and transport the perp to the pokey.
June 28, 2013:
Donnie Smith, 58, was looking at a used Camaro for sale at a Fayetteville, NC, Advance Auto Parts. When he returned to his car, where he left his son, a woman and her 2-year-old child, he saw William and Christopher Strickland, who were threatening his passengers. The brothers then turned their attention to Smith and charged after him. Smith didn't want to go all ninja on the duo and rip their heads off and piss down their necks, so he pulled his concealed handgun instead and shot William in the leg. The Strickland brothers jumped in their SUV, hit Smith with the motor vehicle and then ran him into a utility pole. A passer-be saw the melee, stopped his car and pulled his concealed handgun in an effort to put a stop the the would-be murder of Smith. By this time, a swarm of armed people showed up, all pulling their guns. That swarm was the local police and sheriff's deputies. They did not, I repeat, DID NOT, confuse the two good guys with guns as bad guys with guns. The brothers were arrested and charged with about a dozen felonies, William was already wanted for about a half a dozen felonies related to domestic violence.
June 28, 2013:
Just a little bit south of our last story, in Mount Pleasant, SC, Deion Watson, 16, and Markel Jovan Wright had a pretty good career going on, except that career was armed robbery. In the span of about two weeks, the dastardly duo robbed a series of Kangaroo Stores. By best guess is that it's a string of convenience stores, and quite convenient for the robbers. In their most recent heist, Watson and Market walked into the Kangaroo Store at highways 17 and 41 and walked out with their free stuff, on the way out of the store, Wright discharged his handgun to make sure every body knew that he was serious about being a felon. A passer-by, who witnessed the robbery, and didn't appreciate the ruckus, pulled out his concealed handgun in an effort to make a citizen's arrest. He politely advised the armed thugs, "Eat dirt bitches or I'll ventilate your asses so quick you'll bleed out before your corpse hits the ground!" Or something like that. The 16-year-old wet his panties and fell to the ground like he had actually been shot. Markel, the serious one, who wasn't scared to fire his gun at unarmed clerks, got scared and ran away like six-year-old boy avoiding girl cooties. The police arrived about two minutes too late to capture both suspects but they did relieve the good Samaritan of his prisoner. The United States Marshals took the runaway thug into custody later that night. This is the second time this store has been robbed in a week. June 23rd, two Kangaroo Stores were robbed, one on Bessemer Rd. and one on Joe Rouse Rd. The pair have been charged, or suspected in thoserobberies.
In other news:
June 26, 2013: A knife wielding gang killed 26 people when they attacked a police station in China. The police responded by shooting and killing 10 members of the gang. This is not an isolated event, on April 24, 2013, a confrontation involving axes, knives, at least one gun ended with the burning down of a house and left 21 dead. Mayors Against Illegal Guns is expected to add the names of the ten shot to death on their #NoMoreNames bus tour. People that will not be memorialized are the five killed in China in a murder- suicide on June 30, 2013. The weapon of choice was a hammer.
June DGU part II count:
Defensive gun uses outside the home: 19
Bad guys taking a dirt nap: 3
Bad guys wounded: 5
Good guys shot: 0
Dollars and lives saved: Countless
Other sites that track armed self defense are:
Bill Baldwin can be found @WildBillBaldwin on Twitter.