Tuesday, July 16, 2013

DGUs outside of the home, July mid-month

June 29, 2013:
Troy Rector found out the hard way that booze and boolits don't mix too well. Rector had a habit of stealing beer from a Houston area convenience store. During one point in his latest theft, the boozeman put the beer down and challenged the clerk to a fight. Coming to his senses, he picked the beer up and walked out the store. The clerk followed the thief out of the store and that's when Rector lost his mind and became combative again. The clerk pulled his concealed handgun and defended himself. Rector got wrecked with a boolit hole and is currently in the custody of the medical examiner's office. Eyewitness Sheemeka Brown said, "They could have said, 'just put the beer down' and let him walk out the store..." Or, you know, dead dood could have just not stolen things and then got combative about it.

June 30, 2013:
Words must be expensive to print on the internets, from the three sentence article. Some bad dude in Jacksonville, FL... Dude, really? Florida is not safe for bad dudes, move to... Never mind. Bad dude got the surprise of his life when he approached two other dudes in a car around 3:30 am and attempted an armed robbery. Things went south from there when one of the would-be victims pulled his heater and opened fire. Bad dude was pronounced Dead Right There. I'm sure he was just about to get his life on track.

June 30, 2013:
Around 11 pm, two fellas, high on stupid, attempted to rob a Katy, TX pizza place. SMH, apparently word hasn't hit the streets, yet. Texas is dangerous for dummies. A 20-year-old and his accomplice stormed in from the backdoor and confronted the manager. Shortly after demanding cash, the 20-year-old was begging for an ambulance because of the gunshot wounds he got from the manager. The accomplice, apparently not man enough to finish the job, ran away, arms flailing about and screaming like a girl. He was so scared, he forgot they drove there and left the get-away truck at the restaurant. Last check on hospital records shows the 20-year-old is still living.

July 3, 2013:
Pleasant Grove wasn't so pleasant for 19-year-old Juan Soto. Soto failed to realize that Pleasant Grove is in Texas where bad guys get shot by good guys. Soto attempted to commit and armed robbery and was shot for his troubles. The yoot was transported to a local hospital where he kicked the bucket. Soto's official cause of death has yet to be release, but I'm sure it can be pinned down to a fatal case of thinking he was in New York.
12 more

July 4, 2013:
19-year-old Nicholas Drust and his father Robert were trespassing on a private road when they were approached by Rice Townsip, PA, resident 75-year-old Larry Papach and another man and told to Get Off My Lawn, well, private road. That didn't go over too well with Robert Drust, who punched Papach in the face. Papach returned the favor by whoopin' his ass. The 19-year-old then pulled out a gun and fired 14 rounds at Papach, hitting him in the arm and hand. Wounded, but still old and mean, Papach returned fire with his revolver, hitting Robert and the car. Both wounded men are expected to recover from their injuries, Robert is not expected to recover from his humiliation and Niclolas Drust was arrested for attempted homicide and has to live with the fact that his daddy got beat down by a 75-year-old.

Some jackwagon, wearing a black shirt over his face, walked into the Queen of Pawns pawnshop in Kissimmee and attempted an armed robbery. He failed at that, but was successful at getting away after the clerk pulled a gun and shot at him. He's still on the loose, stay armed.

Two dishonest doods approached a Hyattsville, MARYLAND, couple as they were getting out of their car. One of the bad doods produced a handgun and demanded property from the unarmed, law abiding citizen. The would-be victim Jackie Channed the handgun toting perp and took his weapon. In an astonishingly stupid move, the second suspect approached the now illegally armed, law abiding citizen, who, fearing for his life, shot at the bumbling boneheads. The pers fled and haven't been caught yet but are certainly claiming they lost the community gun 'cause a gang of thugs stole it from them.

July 9, 2013:
Michael Nelson Hicks was looking for some free stuff when he found himself in a Jones County, MS, recycling bidness. During his after hours shopping spree, he set off a burglary alarm which alerted the police, and a nearby resident/employee. The employee grabbed his gun and found Hicks inside the business and then went on a killing spree 'cause Stand Your Ground held the burglar at gunpoint until police arrived.

July 9, 2013:
Eliud Montalvo, of Orange Country, FL, has a special kind of stupid. He went on a 'carjacking' binge and made his first attempt with an 80-year-old women. Thwarted by the smell of cookies and mothballs, he moved on to another vehicle, where he couldn't get past a closed door. His final two attempts gained the attention of Andrew Koplin, a retired Marine Corps veteran. Koplin dodged traffic to catch up to the would-be car thief and pulled his concealed handgun when he saw Montalvo put a knife to a young girl's throat. Montalvo fled, hiding his knife in a bush, and was later apprehended by the boys in blue. The world is stunned that Koplin didn't go on a legal killing spree considering Florida's kill at will laws. 

July 10, 2013:
A Miami market owner and a clerk were minding his business when two armed dummies walked in and held them at gunpoint. Yo, fellas, Florida is not a safe place to try that. The owner, with a gun stuck in his face, pulled his own handgun and fired at the Darwin award runner-ups, who fled.

July 10, 2013:
A Colorado man was hanging out outside of a barber shop when he was robbed at gunpoint by 20-year-old Lee Wildes and 21-year-old Stacey Anderson. As the two bad dudes took off, the victims friends met up with him and they gave chase, you know, to get a good description. They caught up with the violent offenders and one of the perps pulled a handgun and assaulted the victim again. One of the friends pulled his legally concealed handgun and defended his victimized buddy by firing at the suspects. No one was injured. I'm betting the buddy is looking into getting his own permit now. The duo were arrested and are currently staying at a local bed and breakfast managed by the constabulary.

July 12, 2013:
A 32-year-old Houston man made a deal to purchase some used motor vehicle parts. OMG! Unregulated sales of baby killing car parts! OMG!! He met with the two used car parts dealers at about 10:15 a.m. in the Fiesta supermarket parking lot. The two dudes weren't really selling parts (my shocked face), it was a setup to steal from the law abiding citizen. At least one of the bad dudes pulled a gun and they demanded money (how did they know he had money? Oh, yeah) and other items. The would-be victim pulled out his own concealed handgun (I wonder if the bad dudes had licences to carry a concealed firearm) and defended himself. Pow, pow, pow, one perp Dead Right There. Pow, pow, pow, one perp injured. The injured perp soiled his britches, ran through a field, jumped into a vehicle and sped away... Police found the perp's gun in the field and are asking for anyone with information in this case to call HPD Homcide at 713 308-3600. 

July 12, 2013:
Dallas, TX, resident Kenny Curtron, 28, and his friend were walking through a parking lot when Jarmell Thornton, 24, approached them and demanded free stuff. Fearing for his life, Curtron pulled his concealed handgun and a gunfight ensued. Curtron and Thornton were both injured and both later died at Baylor Hospital.

July 14, 2013:
A 27-year-old man with a long criminal history was shot and killed in Mott Haven. The police are calling it a mystery. The unidentified thug has been arrested 23 times in the past nine years, what's a mystery is how did he spend his entire adult life not getting shot.

July 14, 2013:
A Fort Worth, TX, dude was working a security gig at the Fort Worth Intermodal Transportation Center. Shortly after 6:30 a.m., another dude, apparently lacking social skillz, attacked the man without cause. With cause, the security dude pulled his handgun and attacked the socially awkward dimwit back. The ventilated dude was transported to the local hospital where he bought a farm. This is the first attack at this facility in the ten years it's been open, and will likely be the last for a long time.

July 14, 2013:
An unidentified Philidelphia, PA, dude was walking down the road around 4:15 a.m., not being a thug, when three thugs happened upon him. The trio of terror pulled out guns and attempted to rob the man. The law abiding citizen pulled out his own handgun and a gunfight ensued. When the smoke cleared, the law abider stood his ground while the three stooges ran off. One stooge was dropped off at the local hospital with multiple gunshot wounds, the other two are still on the run. Meanwhile, the police are investigating two other fatal shootings, no suspects have been arrested.

July DGU mid-month count:
Defensive gun uses outside the home: 15
Bad guys taking a dirt nap: 6
Bad guys wounded: 4
Arrests: 8
Good guys injured: 2
Dollars and lives saved: Countless

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